It’s been a while.

Halloween 2015, Astronaut, Rocket-ship, and JupiterPumpkin patch

My buddy’s wedding.

Birthday celebration

Roadtrippin.

As you can tell we’ve had a few adventures since I last updated this. I’ve had a birthday, we took Cassius to a pumpkin patch, we went to a wedding which I was a grooms man in, and we got to do an awesome first family costume thing for Halloween. Cassius has been doing great so far! Still only wakes up about once in the night, and then again at 430/5am. Which isn’t bad, the wife gets up for the 1am wake up and I get up for the 430 wake up time since I need to get ready to go and workout and start my day anyways. He actually did really good again on this past roadtrip. We stopped maybe twice to stretch and feed him which makes the trips that much better. Before we just use to go on one tank of gas, stop, fill up, and go again. Now with having him here we’ve actually stopped and taken the time to look at places even if its just for a few mins here and there. It’s one thing I say is a big plus and something I never really thought of until we were driving home. Cassius slept most of the time and only had a few bad bouts where he was really really tired and need his binky right away but other than that it was an A okay trip!

Most people that have a preemie of their own will not go out of the house within the first year. Uhhhh fuck that shit, do you know how boring it is to be at home for just the weekend? No way were going to be cooped up inside for a year. I know, I know, preemies are more prone to getting sick and shit but really Cassius isn’t like most preemies I think. He’s doing great and the change in weather every where we go doesn’t seem to affect him. Now I’m no doctor or anything so don’t go and take your baby out of the NICU or newly let out of the hospital baby out on a roadtrip to some shady location because you want to get out of the house. We still take caution when we are out and don’t let a lot of strangers get to close to him. (Which happens and I didn’t know it until we had a baby. People actually feel comfortable enough to come up to you directly and pinch your kids cheeks. Like who does that ? I don’t know if you washed your hands or you just finished picking your nose WTF??!) So we don’t go dragging our kid in the mud or anything just yet but still we feel we are giving him enough exposure to the outside world where he comes into contact with some germs but not enough to be really scared of.

It’s all up to you and how comfortable you feel on taking your kid out on a roadtrip, but make sure you are prepared for everything, take one of everything at least. A jacket , long pants , socks and beanies for the baby and anything else that you think “Maybe we won’t need this?” No! Fucking take it! Also like I said be prepared for making stops and changing the baby in the car or out in the rest areas , most places don’t have changing tables to that is an adjustment in itself to work around with.

Till next time have fun!

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Change of plans.

Plans hella change everyday for me. Parents that say ,”oh no my kid will go off my schedule, I’m not going to have them rule my life.” Um yeah fucking right !! that doesn’t really happen. Regardless of what schedule you might think you might have for the day it could change from one moment to the next. And sometimes it won’t even be because of the kid.

Take this morning for instance. I go to the gym at 6am 3 to 4 times a week. Somewhere during the night my wife gave me the baby to ease him to sleep and he just happened to stay in my arms the whole night. I wake up with him cuddled in my arms and I just couldn’t move him. Not because I didn’t want to go to the gym but because I wanted to spend just one more hour with him before I had to start my day. During the week I see him maybe 5 hours a day so taking advantage of some extra time here and there to me is worth it. Plus I go running everyday after work so it’s not like I won’t get in some physical activity in.

The point is you have to be comfortable and okay with things changing day to day. Yes a schedule is nice it provides stability for the family but those moments where it’s out of your hands or you just want an extra hour of bonding time in the morning don’t beat yourself up over it.

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Product review: Our Changing Table from IKEA

THE SNIGLAR from IKEA

Yeah its nothing fancy but seriously if you are on a budget and you need a good sturdy table in a room with not much space this was one of the best ones that we found. Its made of solid beech and has a fiberboard as the shelves. The cost was a whole $34.99 and it didn’t even take that much time to assemble, was really easy too actually a little too easy but it has held up so far. We didn’t want to go for a big clunky dresser with a changing top attached it would of taken up too much room in his room. People aren’t going to go and say , “OMG did you see that changing table they got , I can’t believe they would change a baby on it!” Fuck those type of people anyways if they are judging you on a fucking changing table. There are plenty of other things people should be focused on other than where you’re changing shit diapers every two hours.

It has a big under shelf for putting diapers and wipes on and anything else you want to put on the ass of your baby. We even got a really great changing pad that fits into from IKEA as well.

SKÖTSAM Changing pad IKEA

The SKOTSAM from IKEA.

It blows up on the sides and has a thin soft pad to lay the baby on. It makes wiping pee and poop off pretty easy. Not much of a comfy pad but seriously the baby is not going to be sleeping on the fucking thing so no need to go out and buy those 40 dollar plus changing pads. The price for this… $6.99! There is also and cover that you can buy for 5 bucks! (see below) But I wouldn’t just buy one that baby will poop and pee all over this bitch and you’ll be taking it off every other day and laying another one down in no time. So all in all we spent a total of $47 dollars on a full on changing area FUCK YEAH ! SKÖTSAM Cover IKEA

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Going back to work.

For the people out there wondering how much time is enough time off from work to be with your newborn there isn’t enough time out there. I took a week of Paid Time Off when my son was born and because he was in the hospital I went back to work after. I then took an additional three weeks of FMLA (unpaid) to help my wife adjust to life with a newborn at home. It was definitely worth it and I really wish I could spend more time at home with both of them. I really want to be a stay at home dad but right now since the wife hasn’t been working for a while because being on bedrest I have to be the bread winner.

There are some dads out there that I asked on how much time off work they have taken off and the rough amount of time I get is usually a week or so. I think some dads just get bored and want to go to work and not be at home watching mom breastfeed the kid and feel hopeless and not being able to help for those late night feeds. My wife on the other hand tried breastfeeding but she never produced more that an ounce of milk every pump and then the baby would be even hungrier than before. So she just said “fuck this shit I’m tired , he’s hungry. Fuck this” and we went to formula and bottles. He had a hard time latching on because while in NICU she was only able to breastfeed him about two times the whole month and a half he was in there. So most likely he preferred the bottle nipple opposed to the real one. So I was able to feed him late at night and we are able to take shifts throughout the night. Most dads also said that the babies are boring at that stage, I think that’s completely false. It’s the best time for the baby to get use to your smell, your voice, your overall presence and having both parents in the moment with him puts him at ease. I loved spending the afternoons watching a movie with him asleep on my chest and being there when he wakes up from one of his naps and just opens his eyes and stares at me for minutes on end.

Now some people are different, some want to wait for when the baby shows more of a reaction when talked to, to take time off. I’m not here to say you dads out there taking a week off because a baby is boring during the first few months are wrong. Some people may not be able to afford to take a really long periods of time off work because they need a paycheck to come through and have bills to pay and not live with family like me and the wife do. If you can though I do suggest you take the full amount of time off if possible. Yeah your boss might give you a hard time but seriously being for the early stages I believe are just as important. You learn a lot of what the stay at home parent will be going through day to day. You’ll have a bigger appreciation for the little things. You learn not everything will be perfect and messes pile up around the house and you just have to get them done when you can.

Going to back to work for me will be the hardest but I got to keep reminding myself that it’s all for my little family!

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Leave

So far I’ve been on Family Bonding Leave. Unfortunately it’s unpaid, but the paycheck that I’ll be missing I only have 200 to 300 dollars in bills. My parents are going to help me cover those bit seriously bonding leave should be paid. FMLA gives you 12 weeks of leave without losing your job but it’s all unpaid. The case can be made that it’s unfair for people that have kids shouldn’t get preferential treatment over the people that chose not to. Still me only being able to take 3 weeks off the 12 weeks doesn’t help at all. It’s taken us a while to get adjusted with having the baby home and I feel we won’t get fully adjusted for another month or two. I don’t know how single parents do it major props to them for sure.

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Day 35.

It still seems that Cassius was just born a week ago. The trips to the nicu have all blurred together. Nurses all look the same to me now. I’ve waited 20 mins driving around the parking lot to make sure I get a spot that’s close to the entrance , and with shade. I’ve eaten terrible hospital cafeteria food, 4 bucks for a slice of pizza! Doctors come in and say, “Have any questions?”. Yeah when can we get the fuck out of here is the first one that comes to mind. I usually ask though if anything major has changed that we should be concerned about and I get the same answer. “No.” So if you’re wondering , like I have this past month, why the fuck are we here, this is the break down.

Preemies have all sorts of shit that need to develop. They didn’t have time to cook and mature in the womb and they have to do all that still. Doctors and nurses still go off our due date and still tell us it could take all the way up until then for him to go home. Preemies usually need help to breathe, have jaundice, can’t control their body temperature and can’t eat off a breast or bottle yet. So in order for a baby to go home they need to do all of that with no complications. By complications I mean heart rate has to stay at a certain level and oxygen levels have to stay at a certain amount or else these fucking machines go out and it takes everything in your not to smash the fucking thing and chuck it to the nearest staff person.

Luckily for us our son was off a breathing tube within a week, under the jaundice light for about the same amount of time. He’s been gaining weight steadily everyday and doctors are already talking about getting him to go home soon. Till next time everyone much love and take care.

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